Listening Is Critical by Emmanuel Manolakakis, Regional Director
“SPEAKING ONLY WORKS IF IT GOES INTO A LISTENER”
YOUR SILENCE IS GOLDEN—STAY GOLDEN! Ask if they want to add anything.
Choose a goal that “resolves” the antagonism by getting beyond the conflict toward an agreement.
- Listen first
- Check your understanding for accuracy
- Look for common ground.
Feelings are always and all ways moving us …
Do you feel the Four F’s? Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Flow? Stay in flow! How? This must be part of your strategy, plan, and goal—refuse to lose it! This should be the mantra of all security professionals
Remember there will never be a time of life without conflicts. When conflict arises try create a climate of co-operation—by being an effective listener you can spot/look for positives outcomes in the most hostile conflicts. Be pro at conflict resolution—be professional! Recognition is the sign - They swiftly play to your strengths and hastens the collaboration of would-be antagonist.
When you feel like you are ‘losing it.” Know your own triggers and signs of rising frustration and stress levels. Turn intentions into actions…recognize the PUSH/PUSH BACK spiral when it starts and be prepared to deny it your investment of energy. Refuse to lose it; be calm.
“When you listen when you can communicate better and control the outcomes”
Communicate like a leader—connect strategically, inspire even yourself, and get things done by building trust and determining your goals are focused on resolving the conflict with value and harmony. Know your walkaway point: graciously exit No-Win Situations. End on time!
Change the dance: information is giving out/ communication is getting through. Speaking only works if it goes into a Listening, so be that Listener every speaker desires to talk to.
Listening is an extraordinary way to demonstrate caring, respect, and integrity….it makes a person feel valued, and understood.”—Are you Listening with 100% attention to them when they speak? Practice listening first after observing, then you are much more likely to be given 100% of their attention when you speak.
Nobody likes conflict but you should at least deal with to effectively. You might even look forward to the joy of conflict resolution: transform your resistance into a rare and extremely valued skill-set as a life-skill. Getting better at conflict resolution is a priceless skill for security professionals. Being a good listener is the first step to finding the information you will need to build rapport and become an effective communicator in all situations.
Regional Director, Ontario
JTFSecurity Group Inc.